Wandering Hope

It was early autumn, not spring
Still she planted all of her seeds
Solemnly waiting for them to grow
Walking along the dying weeds

As I was watching she sang to them
Promised them summer was closing in
I grieved her work in vain
Her hoping eyes, her wrinkled skin

In the past that was lost in oblivion
She had been living as the crow
Now she was dressed in green
Never expecting the snow

I walked away before the cold came
I couldn't stand to watch her die
But I know she was still waiting
As the frost drew her sigh

Search

My legs are failing me
As I beg them to walk away
The lump in my chest cannot decide
If it wants me to stay
All my limbs betray

Indecisive and distressed
I am facing my bones
I climb my rib-cage
Which is full of heavy stones
They're responding with groans

I set out to search myself
For strenght that I lack
It's too late to resign
I cannot turn back
To where it's always pitch black

Shadow of the Self

I've resided here for years
With a hunger for the freedom I try to attain
But this torture now feels like home
I fell in love with the blood and the pain

Intoxicated from the rush of vertigo
I'm balancing on a border
Dreaming of slipping, yearning to fall
My sense is out of order

I cut loose a piece of mind
That I'm saving for the sunshine
As a hope of regaining my goal
The only piece I won't consign

For I invested it all
Because I couldn't let go of the torment
That I've feared my entire life
That followed me wherever I went

In the end I find myself too weak
To break loose from was has been
My security in the shadows
Is what makes them win