Just a damn truth

My hands are shaking,
my head is aching.
This is what you're making,
and it ain't something I'm faking.

How am I supposed to act,
and how would you react?
Inside I'm cracked,
this is just a fact.

Will you keep me safe and warm,
will you hold me through the storm.
I say this to inform,
that I'm afraid your feelings for me would reform.

If you knew the truth about me,
the way I chose to see.
The way I djudge the world and it's fee,
the way I plea.

I don't want to live but i'm too afraid to die,
I hate myself for giving up and that I cry.
I complain and still I deny,
all the reasons why.

you're not free

If someone who cared for you
Saw the scars on your wrist
And they were really disappointed for true
They would know all that they've missed
They thought they knew you so well
But you never said the worst things
They thought that you would tell
But you ripped off your wings
So you can't fly
You're not the one you used to be
You can't reach the sky
And still, you ain't free

Blame myself

I just can't take it anymore
To smile and go on
To wear this mask I always wore
I want it gone

It's itching as hell
And I don't want to wear it
Those feelings I can't tell
They are forebidden to admit

But still I am scared
'Cause no one needs to know
Why I've never dared
To let it go

I say that I can't take it no more
But still I do it everyday
I blame you for why you ignore
When it's my fault, I chose this way

I don't have the rights to blame
I do this by my own will
I'm so fucking lame
I make myself ill

Just Some Silly Dreams >.<

Will you ever look at me and smile,
saying you love me?
Will you ever hold my hand while,
others can see?
Will it ever be okay,
to be with you?
I want to be with you everyday,
'cause you're the one I'm into.

My Confessions

One day I wish I'll just see
That all this was a fantasy
None of those feelings was ever real
And those scars ain't such a big deal

My arms are infected with dealt
From all the pain that I've felt
They remember me about the things I've gone through
Of the decisions I cannot redo

And all the blood that I spilled
Those stings that got me thrilled
That lifted me up from my depressions
These are my confessions

Bleeding

Why am I bleeding?
Why am I doing this now again?
What am I succeeding?
Why do I want this pain?

Why did I make those scars?
Is this what I've wished?
My mind goes up to the stars.
Why should I be punished?

To take the pain away
To focus on something real
To go my own way
To damp what I feel

Hurt Myself

Why would I slit my wrists
If there was nothing wrong
If no problem exists
Why would I stand the pain and get along

Why would I starve myself
If I had no problem that day
Would anyone do that to themselves?
You think I seem okay?

Why would I cry
If I had no reason
The truth I can't deny
And my eyes commit treason

When the face is trying
To hide the truth and smile
Inside I'm dying
That's why I'm hostile

Smile

With no more troubles than teenage tears
And happy just to be
Maybe there's something more than it appears
A silent scream for nobody to see
Maybe you'll just see if you look hard enough
But no one's able to care
They've got their own life's rough
I guess some things are pretty fair
Underneath those lies
Those tears has travelled a lot of miles
Everybody wear their disguise
And that's just all those smiles

Everybody cry
Once in awhile
But everybody try
To just smile

Burn In Hell

You'll burn in hell

Even if I'll have to burn with you

You'll be locked in your prison cell

You'll get your punishment too

Why should you get away

While other is suffering from your destruction

It ain't fair play

Why should their lives suffer of reduction

You'll burn in hell

I'll get you there

One day I'll say farewell

And I'll smile, I swear

Not okay

Trapped in myself and how people see me,
so afraid of meeting reality.
Scared of what people would say,
if they knew that I'm not okay.
How I hurt myself and what I do,
that my smile is so untrue.
They way I see the world and all it's glance,
I haven't got your chanse.

*-*-*-*-*

But if I wouldn't smile,
Then how would the world look at me
I tried that idea for awhile,
And they just didn't want to see

I lost a lot of friends
Who couldn't stand the storm
When a lot of things ends
Like the smiles that would reform

Into a different shape
That is so insecure
They show that they'd just wanna escape
'Cause they don't want to endure

So then I lost them
Who couldn't see the truth
Who couldn't stand who I am
The marks' youth

Are you sure I would be okay
Would I be left out in the rain
Would you be one of those who'd stay
I don't think I could take it once again

Wouldn't they just past by
And try to ignore
Would they accept me if I'd cry
Or would they shut their door

Hated

What if you lived with someone who hated you,
Could you imagine how hard it would be?
Just another day to go through,
that you can't flee.

Just another day to live,
with the knowledge that you're being pushed down.
If they asked, would you forgive,
even though you almost drown.

In excuses that are so poor,
for why your things are gone.
I am damn unsure,
if I'd wanted to withdrawn.

If there was a stranger,
who ruled your home.
You'd rather face danger,
you'd rather roam.

Scars from Love

When I think of you I go insane
There's so many things that make me afraid
And I really don't want any more pain
My condition is what love has made

My mind is full of ideals
Let's just say my soul is scarred
Have you got any idea how all this feels?
That it's all so fucking hard

I can't be perfect
'Cause that's not how I am
I'm not an object
And I'm not like them

Stuck

I stay in the shadow to not get hurt by the sun
I close my eyes to not see the truth so cold and black
What was before has already been done
And there's no turing back

My life is melting, being crushed by tears
My head is aching, my soul is burning
It's been this way for years
But I'm still learning

The hard way of knowing that you're hated
Even though it must be me
This is what I created?
It's my life, impossible to flee

Thank you

So to be honest, I am teared,
'cause no one ever understood.
I guess that is why I've always feared,
'cause no one ever could.
Staying put aside,
watching people go by trying not to feel.
That is why I always hide,
because they never dared to deal.
I guess they were afraid to know it all,
that's why I never told them anything.
I guess I've never met anyone what I can recall,
who's been ready to listen and take me under their wing.

Not meant to be

Just to be aware that they don't know
Not even my closest friends know it all
That I feel different when I see the snow
That I'm hurt, that I feel so small

So I just took my chanse and told you a bit
But regret it afterwards
I just felt such a resemblance to you, I admit
That for once I wasn't walking away from the light, but towards

So what are you going to do about the information
Remember that you are the only one I've told
Are you about to tell everybody about my isolation
I'd appreciate it if you'd keep it safe, just for you to hold

I don't know why I did, I just got the opportunity to say
What I keep inside
What I feel everyday
What I abide

'I just wanna be pretty
Like the rest of them
Please don't pity
I know I am stupied, but this is how I am'

They've Got Us

Living in an abstract world among them all
With all the ideals of perfection
They'll make us crawl
They'll show us their damn direction

The way towards hell
But there's some financial extracitons
We are brainwashed so we can't tell
That there's something wrong with their actions

They've fooled us with comfort and benefit
So we won't know what's going on
When we'll notice it'll be too late to quit
And then they have won

An ordinary tear

Souls stained of blood and pain
So many minds has gone insane

Waking up coughing fear
Crying blood, an ordinary tear

We'll make it thuru

It's us against the herd
It's us against them all
To stand up and speak our word
To catch each others when we fall

It's us against the world
This life could end in just a second
And this world has always twirled
But this is what has been reckoned

With eyes they inform
That we're not welcome here
It's hard to stand the storm
But we'll make it there

Even though if rocks would hit us on our head
We'd make it thuru
We'll be each others shed
We are true

Stand the Storm

A way to make it turu,
our nightmare
To be aware that they never knew,
about the marks that I bear
The ones on my wrist,
and the ones in my soul
They didn't come from a fist,
but they've made a hole
All the looks and all the whisperings,
made me just wanna walk away
I wish that I could fly away, that I had wings,
But I'll stand the storm, I'll stay
Even with this suffering, with this pain
I'll strain, to not go insane