Footwear

My naivety always puts me
In new pairs of shoes
Just like the hundred pairs
I've fought myself out from
When will I give in
And walk with my guilt
Scattered in my smiling face
In the same kind of hard-tied shoes
I've been wearing the last long years

It's a surprise to me
That my feet yet ain't bleeding
And that I never seem to learn
It's not rightful to call it mistakes anymore
I guess it's more of an addiction

Break the Volume

And so a small dose of artificial serenity finds me
Little enough to fit into my pocket
A double-sided rush, firm but yet abstract
Concrete, still so diminutive that it's almost
as if one could breathe it
A small dose of calm, swallowing me
Such contrast compared to the usual storm in me
Rough enough to drown my own voice
When I talk to myself
Too overwhelming to let me sleep and dream in peace
But for now
I shall rest
The anguish voice in me has faded in this mist
(it's dismissed)
And I will break the volume with silence
And my ragged mind will not hurt
Not for a couple of dark hours
I won't tremble, I won't scream
Nor laugh or cry tonight
Indifference shall conquer me
And I'll let it, I'll let go of the reasons for now
I'll let me be
Let the time run on without me
Such an ease
To not sleep in my own violence
They can go ahead and torture me
Rape me in my dreams
These demons won't reach me now anyway
I'm using big words to fool them out of me
And I'm trying to forget their upcoming, fierce return
I will break the volume with silence
For when you dream while you're awake
They hide behind every possible corner
The huge, dangerous tiger
Ain't behind that corner
Not inside that room
But it's chasing me inside of me

Destruktivitet

Jag tog min skam i handen
Och tryckte våldsamt in den i min såriga mun
Den brände min tunga, min hals
Och jag grät
Samtidigt som jag fortsatte tvångsmata mig själv
Med mina egna misstag