Father figure

I know you wish you could care
And I know it's nothing you can choose
You claim you love me eternally
I'm sorry to drop the news
But I see right through you

Too many birthdays forgotten
I don't mean to sound condescending
But I've always waited for your attention
And I'm done pretending
That I matter to you

To awake is bittersweet

I keep my head above the surface

For when I sleep I face defeat

I wish not to play with fire

I want my body to be scorched

For in my dreams I'm always elsewhere

night terrors

i know i once remembered clearly

every second, every heartbeat

like a drum trapped inside of me

giving away that i was wide awake

i remember i measured my breaths

and staring at an unlit table lamp

how i tried to reason with myself

and i know i once could recall it all

it's okay, it's over

let's never mention it again

it's okay, i'm fine

how could i forget?