Help me, I'm drowning

It hurts everytime I hear the disappointment in your voice,
Your silence makes me deaf, makes my head blow.
I'll have to make this choise,
I love you and for you I'd like to let it go.

So then you won't be sad for me,
'cause I am no one to cry for.
For you I could change who I chose to be,
but please understand that I'm soar.

Maybe it'll be hard to quit,
maybe I'll need someone to understand.
For you I'll try to do it,
but will you stand beside and hold my hand?

So fucking afraid and so damn messed up

It all feels like you don't care anymore,
that I was just a test.
That you don't love me like you did before,
that you're unimpressed.

You used to think of me like someone else I guess,
and got disappointed when you learned to know me.
You didn't know I was this mess,
maybe I'm not the one you thought I'd be.

It feels like I've lost a lot more then I've won,
I never should have given my heart away.
It's harder to carry on,
Since I'm so afraid you'd betray.

Maybe there ain't no sense in this,
maybe I'm just too afraid.
I don't understand why'd you miss
me if I'd die of the blade.

To stay

It's just a way to get through,
It's just a way to stay alive.
It's a way to feel true,
It's a way to survive.

Scars is a way to say,
that it's something I'm going through.
It's a way to pay,
'cause I'm so damn untrue.

Yeah, I hate myself, so what?
It's not like I'm someone to care for.
I've got reasons to cut,
I can't take it no more.

Please don't come near.
just walk away.
'Cause if you need me here,
I'd have a reason to stay.

Where I lies

You were the one I trusted in,
you were the one to care.
You were like a secret twin,
you swore you'd always be there.

But after that day I changed,
it felt like you stopped caring.
You're so damn estranged,
I feel the pain that I'm baring.

Since you used to be there,
and life some of it.
You've left me in my despair,
and I'll continue to slit.

I thought I would be alright,
so many people surrounding me.
They tell me they love me, but I'm full of fright,
they are too blind to see

All the time they've known,
they say that they are with me.
But I feel damn alone,
more then ever I agree.

I bury myself inside,
no one can reach me where I lies.
It's not like no one tried,
I guess I just don't want anyone to see me without my disguise.

A little razor

One little blade,
so innocent and small
Little scars it has made,
could make you fall

But not to be underestimated,
ruling over life and blood
So many scars has been created,
so many minds has flood

To take the pain away
With a different feeling
It feels like a fair price to pay
Breaths it's stealing

I'm sorry but I have to say

yeah, you're damn good,
but you couldn't see.
Everybody misunderstood,
what was wrong with me.

You could always see through me,
but I guess it went on for too long.
I'm surprised you really can't see,
that something's damn wrong.

This place I'm supposed to call home,
is swallowing me alive.
Maybe it looks like a dome,
but it's damn hard to survive.

The reason for why I don't want to live,
lies in this truth.
I'm sorry, I know you're trying to give,
me the best part of my youth.

I'm sorry for hurting you,
that's why you'll never read this song.
I'll continue to go through,
I'll pretend to get along.

Just a damn truth

My hands are shaking,
my head is aching.
This is what you're making,
and it ain't something I'm faking.

How am I supposed to act,
and how would you react?
Inside I'm cracked,
this is just a fact.

Will you keep me safe and warm,
will you hold me through the storm.
I say this to inform,
that I'm afraid your feelings for me would reform.

If you knew the truth about me,
the way I chose to see.
The way I djudge the world and it's fee,
the way I plea.

I don't want to live but i'm too afraid to die,
I hate myself for giving up and that I cry.
I complain and still I deny,
all the reasons why.

you're not free

If someone who cared for you
Saw the scars on your wrist
And they were really disappointed for true
They would know all that they've missed
They thought they knew you so well
But you never said the worst things
They thought that you would tell
But you ripped off your wings
So you can't fly
You're not the one you used to be
You can't reach the sky
And still, you ain't free

Blame myself

I just can't take it anymore
To smile and go on
To wear this mask I always wore
I want it gone

It's itching as hell
And I don't want to wear it
Those feelings I can't tell
They are forebidden to admit

But still I am scared
'Cause no one needs to know
Why I've never dared
To let it go

I say that I can't take it no more
But still I do it everyday
I blame you for why you ignore
When it's my fault, I chose this way

I don't have the rights to blame
I do this by my own will
I'm so fucking lame
I make myself ill

Just Some Silly Dreams >.<

Will you ever look at me and smile,
saying you love me?
Will you ever hold my hand while,
others can see?
Will it ever be okay,
to be with you?
I want to be with you everyday,
'cause you're the one I'm into.

My Confessions

One day I wish I'll just see
That all this was a fantasy
None of those feelings was ever real
And those scars ain't such a big deal

My arms are infected with dealt
From all the pain that I've felt
They remember me about the things I've gone through
Of the decisions I cannot redo

And all the blood that I spilled
Those stings that got me thrilled
That lifted me up from my depressions
These are my confessions

Bleeding

Why am I bleeding?
Why am I doing this now again?
What am I succeeding?
Why do I want this pain?

Why did I make those scars?
Is this what I've wished?
My mind goes up to the stars.
Why should I be punished?

To take the pain away
To focus on something real
To go my own way
To damp what I feel

Hurt Myself

Why would I slit my wrists
If there was nothing wrong
If no problem exists
Why would I stand the pain and get along

Why would I starve myself
If I had no problem that day
Would anyone do that to themselves?
You think I seem okay?

Why would I cry
If I had no reason
The truth I can't deny
And my eyes commit treason

When the face is trying
To hide the truth and smile
Inside I'm dying
That's why I'm hostile

Smile

With no more troubles than teenage tears
And happy just to be
Maybe there's something more than it appears
A silent scream for nobody to see
Maybe you'll just see if you look hard enough
But no one's able to care
They've got their own life's rough
I guess some things are pretty fair
Underneath those lies
Those tears has travelled a lot of miles
Everybody wear their disguise
And that's just all those smiles

Everybody cry
Once in awhile
But everybody try
To just smile

Burn In Hell

You'll burn in hell

Even if I'll have to burn with you

You'll be locked in your prison cell

You'll get your punishment too

Why should you get away

While other is suffering from your destruction

It ain't fair play

Why should their lives suffer of reduction

You'll burn in hell

I'll get you there

One day I'll say farewell

And I'll smile, I swear