Push Aside This Sorrow

Broken inside
And outside I'm falling apart
Get myself in these positions
Where I end up with a broken heart

How can a heart
Be stabbed so many times
Why do I deserve depression?
I haven't done no crimes

When the world seem to turn against
Like it wants me to pull the trigger
And when I won't
This hole is growing bigger

Let me give up
And sleep under the sky
Leave this mess
I don't want to try

I want to be whole again
I want a sane head
But ain't got no energy to fix this
So now I just need me dead

I wanted so long
To stop breathing
I tried some times
Without succeeding

I opened up
But just got hurt
And was left with wounds
'Cause by actions I couldn't revert

And I've tried so long
To stay alive
With this sorrow
That I tried to push aside

I won't give up
I promised not to
I'll keep running
I'll keep hurting
But I won't subdue

Estranging Me

Here we go again
My chest shivering
Broken, lost but not dead
And shoulders quivering

I feel so messed up
I feel so mislead
Let down
Like the times I bled

I try to tell myself
When my heart feels like a stone
Every fucking day
That I can make it alone

But in reality I'm just so small
Insecure and frail
Trying to hide this fact
With my heart full of nails

Stabbed in the back
And kicked on the ground
Broken in another piece
That can never be found

Losing parts of me
With every strike
The things I'm not supposed to do
The things you dislike

Is what I am made of
That you're trying to change
You're removing me
Making me strange

Accept me
For the choises I make
For the one I am
For every single mistake

Friendship

I'm attached to him,
he's attached to me
And drenching me in guilt,
everytime I try to fly free
Anxiety tags along with his face in my head,
instead of lifting me, he just makes me fall
Things I cannot do
Things I'm not supposed to
He makes me crawl
People I can't be around
He's the only one I can hang on to
And he's pushing me down
I feel so damn small
I want me to end
I need me to end
He weren't such a good friend after all

Lost And Alone

he meant much to me
and everyday I see myself fake
the relation he wants us to have
the expectation will make me break

for the first time in my life
I could've been free
Independence in doing what I want
the things that makes him disagree

he makes me promise
things I don't want to
like I owe him
and he'll always pursue

in my mind, in my head
he's made his way in
when I was sore and vulnerable
he got deep under my skin

and turned the one I was
into the one I used to be
the one I wanted to forget
the destiny I tried to flee

and now I can't stand this
I'm stuck
I want to sleep forever
get rid of my bad luck

and I lie
'cause I'm too weak
can't say no
to his goddamn technique

like before
I'm being tossed and thrown
and like before
I'm lost and alone

Sleep Forever

Let me sleep forever
To forget the world around me
Always claiming
The one I used to be

Let me sleep this month
To cover up my bad nights
Full of panic
I'd lose them with delight

Let me sleep a lifetime
So I won't have to deal
With all this fucking mess
The pain I constantly feel

Let me sleep forever
For I don't want to stay
I never recover from the kicks
I can't take another day

Don't Break Me

You ripped me up
Tore me down
In the ocean of tears
Just to let me drown

And deep inside
A heart is supposed to beat
Used to do this for you
Once you made me complete

Can you see this smile losing purity
And my face breaking
You couldn't have torn my heart out
Since I still can feel it aching

We do this over and over again
A game you adore
But next time we won't
I can't let you break me no more

SOD OFF!

And where were you
When I died inside
Where were you
When I just couldn't abide
You blame me
For doing this wrong
It's my fucking breathing we're talking about
I'm the one who's not strong
And you have no fucking idea
What the hell I'm talking about
You're not on the edge
With thoughts you want out
Maybe you know alot
But maybe I know more about me
You say that I know everything but
Maybe both can't agree?
I might just be childish
But so the hell are you!
I'm not listening,
but hell, then we're two!
You can't believe that someone younger
Can have something to say
Automatically it's all just bullshit
Who'd like to listen at someone who thinks that way?
You want me to listen, to understand
Then give me something aswell
Take in my words
And we won't yell
Right now I'm full of anger
You know alot, that's true
But what the hell, sod off!
You've got no idea what I go through

In the end

I've got a bad feeling
Biting me
Slowly eating
The one I used to be

I've got some bad experiences
And a bad past
For the things I've done
Scars will always last

I don't know how I do it
I must be a mistake for real
For all of this mess I've made
I don't have no energy to deal

People tend to turn against me
Something I create
I always do things wrong
I can feel their hate

Looks burning my back
As I walk away
For I am not pleased with myself
For I have few reasons to stay

Who will take my party?
Who will stand beside
Even if I manage to screw this
Who'd understand why I hide

No one lasts forever
No matter what you say
It's always lies in the end
I'm always alone at the end of the day

I might seem better
But I taught myself to keep it inside
I'm sorry for being so goddamn weak
I'm sorry I lied

Sleep Away The Sadness

Like a cloud above me
Bringin me rain
Like salt in these sore wounds
Bringing me pain

Like I'm bare in a winter
Frozen in deep
A cold heart and a cold mind
I need some sleep

Sleep away this problems
Sleep away this mess
And if I sleep forever
I might even lose this sadness

Dead

Innocent drops on my head
Echoing inside of me
For I am empty

Like a moment can fill me
But the feelings can't stay
For I am only a shell

I used to sparkle
And I was full of smiles
But in the end I'm nothing

Innocent drops on my head
Like an angel crying above me
For I am lost
For I am dead

Goodbye

A foot on the edge
And my back towards this beautiful place
'Cause now
I turn away

I can feel the scent from a flower
Spring just came
A perfect day
To turn away

As I close my eyes
For the sky oh blue
Remember
Summer days

So young, had no idea
How croul this world could be
And smiles always was for real
Happiness always was for real

And I reach out my arms
To welcome it all
The last chance to be vulnerable
Before I fall

It takes forever
Before I hit the ground
Such a feeling
And my birth
Such a waste
I was too weak
To enter this world
I was too weak
To enter this place
To take this shit
Loaded upon these weak shoulders
They said I was strong
But now
I've proved they were wrong
Sorry I couldn't try
This is goodbye

Refuse This

Words full of emptiness
I'm deaf towards your screams
Refuse these
Fights

Black eyes hide sorrow
And anger hides tears
Refuse these
Nights

No matter how much you scream
No matter how much you strike
You'll never hide the fact
That we're so alike
In words and lack of compassion
In thoughts and emotions
But you'll never reach
My devotions

I'll take my
Rights
I refuse these
Fights

Used

sometimes darkness terrifies me
and I almost drop dead
the screams in my ears
they're just in my head?
no one can hear them
scratch in the wall
except for me
and I feel so damn small
for fire and light
warmth and affection
has left me forever
for another direction
they left me for cold
and for depression
they left me alone
and in this aggression
for never finding truth
and always being used
for nothing but lust
and always left confused
it's my turn to give up
it's fucking my turn to die
to not care
it's my turn to not rely

Not to Die

You could choose to give up
Choose to give in
Lay down in the cold
Split up your skin
You could ignore time
And close your eyes
Just forget about the past
But pain can arise

And even if you find nothing out there
Nothing to smile for
Even if you've lost things
And want them the way it was before
Even if it tastes great
With blood on your cheek
Even if you feel so
Goddamn weak
And can't find no reasons to try
But a chanse to say goodbye
You still promised me
Not to die

I'm Wrong

My passion

Will let me drown

And your compassion

Will slowly tear me down

And bring me into

A certain demise

And this is too

A cheap prize

To give up your mind

When it should have occured

That all we leave behind

Is fucking absurd

And this is the way

If you want to die

And still when they say

I'm trying to deny!

'Cause I know that I'm wrong

I know it's not worth this shit

Go along

Only to make it

Yes I'm fucking wrong

This thing won't revert

I tried to stand strong

But I always end up hurt