I Don't Want To Be Me

When I look in the mirror
I hate what I see
'Cause in the end
I don't want to be me

I hide my feelings behind a smile
So that no one understands
I'll stay here beneath for awhile
I'll bury myself with these hands

Underneath this weak shell
I'm crying
Someone touched my shell, and it fell
And he saw me dying

And it all ended like this
The boy found someone else he loved
Without knowing I gave him a kiss
And the next day I weren't beloved

I won't let anyone in
I've lost trust, you might have herd
This shell is now so thin
It'll brake 'cause of just a word

When I look in the mirror
I hate what I see
'Cause in the end
I don't want to be me

Too Close

All the things that made me cry
Has got some lessons to impart
If you don't want to die
Never let anyone too close into your heart

Pain

To make it thuru the rain
Without feeling any pain
Is impossible for a girl like me
'Cause pain makes us feel free

I hate pain, but I hate me more
I feel stupied, like a damn whore
And when I start to bleed I know pain arrive
I'm made of it and that's what keeps me alive

In the mist I stand
I want to leave this empety land
My hands are crying blood
I was always misunderstood

My dreams

I'm ready to let go of you
'Cause there layes a future for me
Though I still love you, it's true
But our life are going to different dierctions, you see

I opened up my eyes a night
I was lying awake next to you
I want my dream, and I'm gonna fight!
To get there, and you knew

You knew all the time that I had a chance
But you kept your damn mouth shut
And now there's nothing, no more romance
You're a fucking smut and a slut

I slammed the door behind me
And I cursed your name
'Cause I was angry, wouldn't you be?
Yeah you would have done the same!

Sleepless nights and cold dayes will past me by
My dreams are my goals and they lay ahead
And I promised myself, tears will never fall for you, I'll never cry!
'Cause enough I've bled

My blood froze in my vain
When I heard that yesterday
You got hit by a train
And my promise I betrayed

Sometimes when I try to breathe, it comes no air
And sometimes when I'm sad, it comes no tears
It feels like everybody can read me, I feel so bare
And when my life stops my heart is theirs

Sometimes when I try to scream, no word is spoken
And sometimes when I cut myself, no blood will come
All is upside down to me, I feel so broken
And I'm so scared of what I will become

When My Life Left Me Slow

What if I said
That I'm still in love with you
Even though I'm dead
All those words are true

'Cause you were the thing
That I held so close
I remember that last spring
When you gave me a rose

But somehow everything went wrong
That night when we sat outside
I felt a bullet, it was so strong
With your shirt full of blood you cried

And I layed there on the grass, I was so cold
I heard the wind whisper: "It's your time to go"
As your tears run down you cheek, they were glowing of gold
And you kissed me for the last time when my life left me slow

To get shot hurt alot
But it didn't hurt more than knowing I'll never kiss you again
Even though you promised me, you've forgot
And now I'm fading away, but I'll always remember that moment back then

To My Crush

hi love,

just wanted to say

you make me

hysteric

I Need You

I don't want to
But I need you
Never would admit
But it's true
I need you

Every rainy night
When I was afraid of the dark
You both stood up for me
And I saw the spark

Every time
I came home crying
'Cause of some stupied guy
You were always trying
To comfort me
And you know what?
It always worked
And you never shut me out

I know this sounds stupied
But I love you both
I always felt you were there for me
You were honest, it's yours voices that count

I don't want to
Stand alone out
In the great wide world
And I don't need to
'Cause you stand beside
All the time
I don't want to
But I need you
I never would admit
But it's true
I need you

Every day
When I was so scared
You helped me out
And you cared

When I felt
So alone
You never let me out of sight
Yeah, to you I weren't unknown

When I walked on my own path
You encouraged me to walk on
With you I could always
Bank upon

I know this sounds weird
But I love you both
You are always there for me
And I'll always know
That you love me back
'Cause in the way you act
I'll always find truth and happiness
And....

I don't want to
Stand alone out
In this great wide world
And I don't need to
'Cause you stand beside
All the time
I don't want to
But I need you
I never would admit
But it's true
I need you

If I would get lost
And if I didn't know
Which way to go
I can count on you
'Cause I know you'll help me thuru
Every storm and every wind
And if I close my eyes
And focus really hard
I can think
What would they do
If they were in my place
How would they get thuru
And then you'll help me
Even if I'm at the other side of this world

Somehow I don't want to
But I need you
I never would admit
But it's true
I need you

And someway I want to
And I need you
I guess it's hard to admit
But it's true
I need you
'Cause I need you
And always will

I don't want to
Stand alone out
In this great wide world
And I don't need to
'Cause you stand beside
All the time
I don't want to
But I need you
I never would admit
But it's true
I need you

© This Song Is To My Sisters Veronica and Felicia
Please Don't Steal It

Let's Scream Together

I'd be so pleased to know that you like me the way I am,
'cause I can't be someone else anymore.
I refuse to be like them,
I'd rather be a whore.

But that's not really what I wanna be,
I wanna be an unique and amazing girl.
And yes, I do wanna be free,
I wanna be your love, I wanna be your pearl.

Writing this poem feels kinda' silly,
but when you are in love it always does.
Out in the snow it is very chilly,
and there's no because.

Crying is what I did for a living,
but now those dayes are gone.
And I hope you'll be forgiving,
'cause what's done is done, and let's move on.

I've always tried to find out,
but I never got the answer.
And I guess no one knows what life is about,
but I know that it sometimes feels like cancer.

Sometimes this life feels like a sickness,
and sometimes it feels like a dream.
But most of the time it's just a big mess,
And you just wanna scream.

So let's scream together,
'cause I can't see why not.
I'd just like to know whether,
you like me or not.

So this is where,
this poem ends.
It's just a bare,
poem 'bout friends.

To Be Me

It's so strange to feel,
but there's no big deal.
'Cause I guess I wouldn't dare,
to speak up what I think is fare.

Brave, that was never me,
'cause who I really am I don't dare to be.
I don't know why,
I'm just so shy.

At home I live with a stranger,
but there's no danger.
So official there is nothing wrong,
and I play along.

I'm hiding who I really are,
But somehow I think I went too far.
Trying to be what I think is right,
though I'm me when I write.

A Burnmark

I've been crying many different kind of tears,
and I've felt a load of different kind of fears
I have cryed and I've almost died
But nothing has been as hard
as lieing in your arms
saying we could never be together
I was so close, but I couldn't
You were the one I wanted for so long, and you still are
But somtimes you just can't go to far
I'm afraid of hurting you,
and I know you can get better girls then me
I will miss you, I already do
I wish I didn't have to go

The rain fell down so easy on my forehead that night,
and as you touched my chin with your smooth hands I wished that moment could last forever,
In that dark and rainy night, it shined on me, the light
It was coming from you, my love
And every day I'm feeling lonely in this world, so great and dark
I'll think of that moment
It will stay in my skull as a burnmark
But soon enough, I will get old
And I will forget,
and the burnmark will fade away
That's why, I'm living the moment, and at the moment I'm standing in your arms and your shirt is wet
And as a burnmark fades away, you do too, as you disappear in the fog, walking away

And so you're out of my life, and I'm out of yours
And there is no turning back, 'cause we closed all the doors
We used to say that we were gonna fly up to the moon, hand in hand
And we were gonna walk down the beach in the sand
But we neve flew up to the moon,
And we never walked in the sand an afternoon

Poetry

"You're the only one that don't like me.
You're the only one I like."

"I never know what to say when you're around,
I wish I just could come done to the ground."

"I wish I didn't wish you wish you had me"

"I wish I didn't love you, it would be so much easier, and so less painful."

Hi

Just writing this so you'll be able to see.