Relinquish

There's dust in my mind
Whenever I try to remember the past
There's mist replacing time
But the feelings will outlast
Sunk deep within myself
All the time it cost
And if you don't play, you cannot win
I played, we lost
How to crawl up again
To rise above the skyline
Take back what I lost
The things that used to be mine
Regain the control of my thoughts
And master my emotions
To reach inside of me
Give myself devotion
Listen to my own will
And live for it as far as I can go
To breathe for myself
Accept everything I know
This will not last forever
I shall not join the deceased
One day I'll conquer
One day I'll be released

Smile With The Morning

Chains in my legs to prevent me from going my own way
They're all dragging me down
Forcing me in their direction
Why is everyone pushing me around?
To make them all feel better
We sacrifice my will
And they put up these expectations
That I could never fulfill
For what if I won't get better?
The thought struck me from time to time
Forever tortured in the rain of fire
Haunted in the same prime
The golden morningsun came smiling jeerfully
It's breaking me over and over again
That I cannot smile with the rest of the world
Something so plain
Seems so out of reach for me

Breaking Down

Poison imagination throbs through my mind
Forever, they are whispering in my ear
If I created them, then why can't I remove them?
Like water, just to wash away the austere
Tire broke into my body
But they are jeering me with laughter
And now I feel so alone again
Who could find me in my head thereafter?
A complicated being will never be able to deal
With themselves and in what they drown
Dreams when you're wide awake seems so real
They will make you break down

Punishment

As they cut my face with shreds of time
Because I couldn't catch up
After a long time running I sat down to rest
And I didn't rise again
So they punished me for not trying
Confusion got out of hand
And broken bones didn't matter
They cut my face with shreds of me
To bring new kind of tears to life
Streaming through my soul
Tormenting fire burns inside my mind
For I've been bad, for I have lied
Desperation turned to panic
But it still hurt too much to move
Painkillers cannot let me rest
They came to punish, you see

Blacked Eyes

Bitterness crawls under your skin
You can feel the taste in your veins
And as the most beautiful smile was killed
Torn out and only illness remains
Depression sourced in the lung
That quickly was filled with stone
And in every breath you felt the weight
How heavy you were on your own
Who would understand with these smilies
Of how it could crumble you in different ways
How to explain the hurt inside of you
Or that you're ablaze
The brain isn't working like it should
When there's so damn much on your mind
And if you can't even remember
Whatever lays behind
Then mustn't you be blind?

Erasable

It pains my eyes to see how far this went
The deeper blue, higher sky
So much more unreachable in the present
Than I ever thought I'd come by

As my feet feels like as if made of stone
I rarely get out of my shell
And the feelings are to me well-known
When some days are just another new-born hell

Sometimes curiosity makes me wonder
How I managed to sink this deep
And I dragged them with me far under
As if they'd stay with the black sheep

The girl who cannot rest
Her nightmares coming alive
That seems insane to the unpossessed
But the empathic could connive

Behind a steel-worn face
Hidden emotions with perfection
Carried out with full grace
Shattered in her own protection
It's not erasable