Forget

It was long back in time
When I was searching for the way that was mine
Forcing my lungs to make my breaths rhyme
As if it would make me fine

I crawled upon the mountainside of my rib cage
Exploring new parts of my soul
Between my bones, a hidden door to my rage
A power I can't control

I wandered towards the brightening end
Collecting stones as souvenirs
For the memories I want to extend
To avoid them to vanish along with tears

Beneath Sanity

My cheek pressed towards the cold tiles
The world seems so terribly unreal
As I seek the patterns closer to the ground
To wash away everything that I feel

I'm defying bound laws of nature
How could I still imperfectly exist?
I'm buying time with every breath
Terrified of finally being dismissed

To realize that every stage was not
Perhaps just someone's forgotten dream
I idealize escaping from rhyme and reason
To break loose, to head upstream

But hiding from space and time
Is impossible for someone bound by pain
I keep confiding on this uncertain air
I keep heading on an anxious terrain

And when time has lost it's sense to me
When this rush has subsided
As the prime of sorrow unfolds ahead
Is when emotion and thought has collided

End

I've come to the same insight as before
Finding my thoughts condemning your deeds
We're only rubbing wounds that are sore
And even though my heart bleeds
I know, eventually, the angst recedes

There's this power growing inside of me again
I'm starting to feel increasingly brave
You eyes and words behave so inhumane
Even though my emotions still crave
I've got myself to save

I've know all the time that I have to turn away
For my throbbing body needs to smile
There's no point in waiting halfway
I can't stand you being hostile
Not even for awhile

You've shown me that I'm not worth to cherish
I can't continue on denying
For it would only make me perish
We can't go on foolishly trying
Because we're already slowly dying

Nightmares

I'm violated fiercely

Forced through my pride

Thorns of words and limbs

All shame, applied

I find myself not moving

Not even an attempt to break loose

But even worse is

How I make up their excuse

I must find myself unworthy

When I'm not surprised of such a quake

I only feel myself as empty

When I'm actually awake

Hope

I survived on this hope

Like oxygen

In every breath

I grew stronger and

I wonder where

My strength is now

Invested my everything

On being happy with you

All emotions in

But you were cheated

Your shadow

Fooled me, you, us

I am watching myself scatter

Once more I'm torn down

I wonder where

My hope is now

Open My Eyes

There's a scent of destruction

Evolving in the gap

For the snares you put out for us

To catch us in your own trap

The remorse must be unbearable

For letting me bleed

Finally you are realizing

This ain't what I need

So we keep exchanging kisses

There is no forever

No plans for tomorrow

No hope whatsoever

I know I'll wake up soon

From the sweetest nightmare

Without your breath in my ear

That is fading all despair

Blindness

You may not be able to
Appreciate what you've got

Only hunting what you could have

And certainly what you cannot

I could give you all I have

I've done it before

But why give me to someone

Who only wants more?

I guess I'd be better off alone

Without my wounds full of your salt

To escape the feeling that you give me

That all is my fault

Because I know that I am strong

That there's much in me to care for

And perhaps someone else could

Love me even more

I could be happy, you know

Why should I stick around you?

You blind me too often

Still I keep pulling through

Idiotic, that's what it is

That I keep letting myself grieve

Instead of accepting what I'm worth

Instead of letting myself leave

Changes

We cannot erase what has been

Even when we're downed

Time will forever win

When misfortune would surround

To make you stick around

Impossible to replace

What you don't want to see

To learn to truly face

Our bound reality

And the one you came to be

I want to have my own hideaway

Where I can bloom

Where I can calmly stay

There no one could resume

What I want to entomb

Remember

It's like there's someone's blowing my

eyelids

In directions I have yet explored

But I don't think

I want to regard this

There is no change of the past,

nothing I can do

It happened

I don't think

I want to remember

It Happened

"There's no pride in conveying"

She shut her eyelids hard

"As I was saying,

You have to stay on your guard"

Her voice seemed barred

I watched her walking on

Like she had no past

Seeing future in the dawn

Yet I knew, her misery was vast

Her secrets would outlast

I watched her being torn

I saw her in fright

We all lived with the same scorn

But she was too young to stay upright

Too frail to not get stained by the spite

She laughs all the time

No one around her could tell

When the guilt would climb

To have her dwell

In her memories of hell

"There's no point in talking

About what has been"

I watch her, still walking

With her hurt shut within

A facade worn like skin

Hollowness

I know of nothing

But buttons in elevators

They have no numbers

No levels to reach

There is nowhere to go

No past and no beginning

I know of nothing

But the blank buttons

And suddenly she'd scream

To no one, she'd scream

Begging them to stop

Stop going nowhere

And I think she filled her pockets

With broken bricks

To unite with gravitation

I think she wanted purpose

We're floating above her

Intoxicated with buttons

We're pushing nothing

To go nowhere

Released

He was staring at the scenery
Sick of being overthrown
Tired of feeling guilty
For emotions, to others unknown

There was a part of him whispering
Longing to be free
Let out from his shadowy place
Where he cannot really see

There was not lacking love
But endurance was running out
He was unsure, uncertain
What importance was about

Smiled and kept his mouth shut
Ashamed of feelings wrong
Secretly, wanting to be released
But silence prolonged

Pulverize

I find myself hoping
You'd crush me
With your soft palms
Pulverize my hurt
Along with my being

I discover myself aching
For millions of reasons
Known and unknown
Eyes set on future
Yet I dwell on

There's nothing but scar tissue
Thick skin-looking surface
Hiding the filth
From what has been
What should never be again

My emotions suffers vertigo
And in a way
I wish you'd free me
There's parts of me
Waiting to let go

Cast me Away

There's a thunderstorm in my chest
For reasons I cannot see clear
Something just ain't right

Somehow I need to break loose
Face that I don't need you near
My trembling eyelids ignite

It's raining inside my broken mind
I have to let go of a scorching fear
There's a story to rewrite

There's a past infecting my breaths
A future to benight

Care

Let me bury my eyes
In your hair
And I won't have to face
The darkened air
For I don't really want to
Turn from you

Yet I keep inhaling
My decision
I ain't yet failing
Despite the collision
I shall walk on
I've already gone

If I leave my heart behind
Will you keep it protected?
It's already confined
Completely infected
Yet I know I really need to
Finally leave you

The Thirst of Touch

There's a sorrow screaming inside of me
Thirsting for the touch of your skin
And this reality keeps hitting me like a wall
I'd need to have my body made of tin
To not break myself when I fall

The lack of armour lets your words sink in
Awakening the hope I wish I'd let go
As I try to stand tall, I pretend that I'm brave
I try to tell myself that I will grow
Yet I find my heart depraved

When you enter my mind, I cannot think
There's just a huge emotional desire
What kind of future am I fighting for?
What in this choice is there to admire?
I close my eyes, I ignore

Hurt Me Again

You entered my picture, shining
Confident about that you wanted me
Back in the days when I was still defining
Who I wanted to be

You spoke about liberty and of love
In a way I never had heard it before
Walking beside you, I always was proud of
Each day I miss it even more

But you were a preacher, you didn't act
At least not according to what you said
Comparing to now, back then I was intact
Still I'm not sure, how to force myself ahead

You're playing on my shame
Trying to regain what was broken and lost
Hurting me further, when you try to reclaim
I guess you cannot see, there's always a cost

I assume you don't really understand
That there are consequences to each move you make
You shouldn't deserve to reach my hand
And I wish, I didn't want to partake

Grey

There is something grey
Evolving in my stomach
Fading my eyes into shadows

Giving birth to a monster
Through my fingertips
It rises from my head

There is a beat chasing me
Invading my breath
Venomous heartbeats erupts

I am drifting above sense
I want to take part of the world
The genuine gravitation

There is something grey
Taking me over

Forward

I'm trying to forget who I was
Leave the past behind me
Releasing it on a stormy day
To let the wind carry it away
Far away from me and
The one I'm supposed to become

So Long

I always gave it everything I had
I can leave now, without the remorse
that will be haunting you

And I'm sorry for you
I'm sorry you were sleeping for
years and through every try I invested

I'm sorry you lost something precious
Someone you now realize
you broke over and over again

I'm shall grow stronger and I will
forevermore shine

I'll never let someone
crush me again