Don't follow me

It's so damn hard,
and you're not the one you used to be.
though I've also changed,
I don't want you to turn into me.

I pushed you away,
so you wouldn't follow my mistakes.
I tried to make it alone,
but just got heartaches.

You have no idea,
'cause I didn't show you.
The consequences of the way I feel,
has changed shape too.

From innocent tears running from my eyes,
to little marks that'll never go away.
They would break my mothers heart,
if she'd see them someday.

And you would all be disappointed,
to know it all.
It's so damn easy to talk,
when you haven't got own memories to recall.

You wouldn't know what I'm going through,
you wouldn't understand.
'Cause the only way to do it to feel it yourself,
and I don't want this to expand.