So fucking afraid and so damn messed up

It all feels like you don't care anymore,
that I was just a test.
That you don't love me like you did before,
that you're unimpressed.

You used to think of me like someone else I guess,
and got disappointed when you learned to know me.
You didn't know I was this mess,
maybe I'm not the one you thought I'd be.

It feels like I've lost a lot more then I've won,
I never should have given my heart away.
It's harder to carry on,
Since I'm so afraid you'd betray.

Maybe there ain't no sense in this,
maybe I'm just too afraid.
I don't understand why'd you miss
me if I'd die of the blade.