Scars from Love

When I think of you I go insane
There's so many things that make me afraid
And I really don't want any more pain
My condition is what love has made

My mind is full of ideals
Let's just say my soul is scarred
Have you got any idea how all this feels?
That it's all so fucking hard

I can't be perfect
'Cause that's not how I am
I'm not an object
And I'm not like them

Stuck

I stay in the shadow to not get hurt by the sun
I close my eyes to not see the truth so cold and black
What was before has already been done
And there's no turing back

My life is melting, being crushed by tears
My head is aching, my soul is burning
It's been this way for years
But I'm still learning

The hard way of knowing that you're hated
Even though it must be me
This is what I created?
It's my life, impossible to flee

Thank you

So to be honest, I am teared,
'cause no one ever understood.
I guess that is why I've always feared,
'cause no one ever could.
Staying put aside,
watching people go by trying not to feel.
That is why I always hide,
because they never dared to deal.
I guess they were afraid to know it all,
that's why I never told them anything.
I guess I've never met anyone what I can recall,
who's been ready to listen and take me under their wing.

Not meant to be

Just to be aware that they don't know
Not even my closest friends know it all
That I feel different when I see the snow
That I'm hurt, that I feel so small

So I just took my chanse and told you a bit
But regret it afterwards
I just felt such a resemblance to you, I admit
That for once I wasn't walking away from the light, but towards

So what are you going to do about the information
Remember that you are the only one I've told
Are you about to tell everybody about my isolation
I'd appreciate it if you'd keep it safe, just for you to hold

I don't know why I did, I just got the opportunity to say
What I keep inside
What I feel everyday
What I abide

'I just wanna be pretty
Like the rest of them
Please don't pity
I know I am stupied, but this is how I am'

They've Got Us

Living in an abstract world among them all
With all the ideals of perfection
They'll make us crawl
They'll show us their damn direction

The way towards hell
But there's some financial extracitons
We are brainwashed so we can't tell
That there's something wrong with their actions

They've fooled us with comfort and benefit
So we won't know what's going on
When we'll notice it'll be too late to quit
And then they have won

An ordinary tear

Souls stained of blood and pain
So many minds has gone insane

Waking up coughing fear
Crying blood, an ordinary tear

We'll make it thuru

It's us against the herd
It's us against them all
To stand up and speak our word
To catch each others when we fall

It's us against the world
This life could end in just a second
And this world has always twirled
But this is what has been reckoned

With eyes they inform
That we're not welcome here
It's hard to stand the storm
But we'll make it there

Even though if rocks would hit us on our head
We'd make it thuru
We'll be each others shed
We are true

Stand the Storm

A way to make it turu,
our nightmare
To be aware that they never knew,
about the marks that I bear
The ones on my wrist,
and the ones in my soul
They didn't come from a fist,
but they've made a hole
All the looks and all the whisperings,
made me just wanna walk away
I wish that I could fly away, that I had wings,
But I'll stand the storm, I'll stay
Even with this suffering, with this pain
I'll strain, to not go insane

Deeper and deeper

A black stream of pain is running down my cheek,
taking the breath out of me
No one knows that I'm this weak, this feeling's unique,
the tear's a salut to thee

Winning back those moments I lost,
the times I stopped breathing
The grass frozen, a meadow of frost,
and the first touch of spring

Living on earth, and somtimes it's like living in hell,
fire's arounde me, the world's gone insane
The population's under a spell, I wish I could just say farewell,
but that wouldn't keep me away from the pain, this is my refrain

A smile doesn't mean that I'm happy, a tear doesn't make me sad,
I don't pray to god, 'cause I don't think I deserve it
All the pain that I've cost, it makes me too bad
all the times I felt sorry for myself, all the egoism that I emit

My Saver

You're my saver on the nights
Before I met you there was always someone chasing me
Always finding me wherever I go
But now I dream of you, you see

Almost every dream is about you
And the nightmares are now very few
Your smile is always in my head
And stay there when I go to bed

I used to be afraid to fall asleep
Frighten of falling down too deep
But now when you take the space
All the nightmares you erase

Just wishing my dreams were true
'Cause in them you like me too
Holding my hand and all the shadows fade
So I won't be afraid

If Dreams Were True

Can't get you off my mind,
you make me blind
More or less obsessed of your smile,
will stay inside my head for awhile

Though I'm not from the same world as you,
I wish my dreams were true
Ther you like me and there ain't this wall
and none of this matters at all

But dreams ain't true
I don't live my life with you
But someday I might
But that day is not tonight

They hurt me and I hurt myself

When they hurt me,
I push them away
And without them knowing it,
I hurt myself

To make it go away

Standing there in the bathroom
See tears in the mirror
See a nobody
Breathing heavy and fast
Hands shaking
Searching for somthing sharp
Finding a key
The key to calm me down
The key to make the blood flow
Down in the sink my sanity goes
It's like a drug

Eyes and Lies

Once upon a time, I felt this way
That I wanted to die, but now there's a new day
It was all 'cause of you, you and your eyes
When I think back I'm scared of myself, 'cause all you gave me was lies
Who would end their life 'cause of a teenagers mistake?
Especially one like you, you're damn fake
But it is true
I was about to say that I love you
And say good by
To everyone who would pass me by
When I was going to the cliff where the waves would hit hard on my face
When my life ended it's race

But I'm not that stupied
I got over you
And now, I like someone else
fuck off, you untrue

So scared

Sitting here cursing myself for being so scared
I missed all those things 'cause I never dared
When I sit in class with people I don't know
I don't speak, I'm scared but I try not to show
If someone would look at me
I would glare back with eyes saying: "leave me be"
When all I mean is be my friend and hold my hand
Say something, don't ignore, and please; try to understand


So that might be the truth
The undiscovered meaning
Just so you know
Why I'm always so

Tears

I did shut the door forever
On a november day, that was the longest day ever
But that was when I realized what I didn't dare
It was that you would never care

And losing it, I felt so empety in the rain
Tired I walked but still carrying the pain
And tears were running down, they never end
'Cause they were there, when I used to pretend

Now I've made a lifestore of tears
They will never end, I broke the gears
So this is just, a lovely pray
That I will never choose to stay

I Don't Want To Be Me

When I look in the mirror
I hate what I see
'Cause in the end
I don't want to be me

I hide my feelings behind a smile
So that no one understands
I'll stay here beneath for awhile
I'll bury myself with these hands

Underneath this weak shell
I'm crying
Someone touched my shell, and it fell
And he saw me dying

And it all ended like this
The boy found someone else he loved
Without knowing I gave him a kiss
And the next day I weren't beloved

I won't let anyone in
I've lost trust, you might have herd
This shell is now so thin
It'll brake 'cause of just a word

When I look in the mirror
I hate what I see
'Cause in the end
I don't want to be me

Too Close

All the things that made me cry
Has got some lessons to impart
If you don't want to die
Never let anyone too close into your heart

Pain

To make it thuru the rain
Without feeling any pain
Is impossible for a girl like me
'Cause pain makes us feel free

I hate pain, but I hate me more
I feel stupied, like a damn whore
And when I start to bleed I know pain arrive
I'm made of it and that's what keeps me alive

In the mist I stand
I want to leave this empety land
My hands are crying blood
I was always misunderstood

My dreams

I'm ready to let go of you
'Cause there layes a future for me
Though I still love you, it's true
But our life are going to different dierctions, you see

I opened up my eyes a night
I was lying awake next to you
I want my dream, and I'm gonna fight!
To get there, and you knew

You knew all the time that I had a chance
But you kept your damn mouth shut
And now there's nothing, no more romance
You're a fucking smut and a slut

I slammed the door behind me
And I cursed your name
'Cause I was angry, wouldn't you be?
Yeah you would have done the same!

Sleepless nights and cold dayes will past me by
My dreams are my goals and they lay ahead
And I promised myself, tears will never fall for you, I'll never cry!
'Cause enough I've bled

My blood froze in my vain
When I heard that yesterday
You got hit by a train
And my promise I betrayed