Darkness Took Over Me

Darkness took over me
I didn't realize it when
I started breaking
I didn't realize it back then

Depression took over me
Made me fall apart
Couldn't stop it
I guess everything has a start

It got too far
I got worse
Was thrown into a life
I never got to rehearse

And it hurts in me to know
That it didn't have to be this way
I could've been happy
I could've been okay

I'm crying
For the life I didn't get to keep
The life I lost
Merories I've hidden deep

But could it really had gone another way?
Could I've had a real smile?
I think I've always been on this path
Moving closer to a trial

And my lips are shaking
I feel so damn small
In a huge world
No one noticed my sadness at all

I guess I've always been hiding
Something I thought was a part of life
That I carried everywhere
What made me play with the knife

Am I just tired?
Is that why I'm crying
Don't think so
I'm done with trying

To keep this surface up
To keep it inside
It would hurt others
If they knew why I hide

And goddammit I hate myself
For being so weak
So damn fragile
Happiness is what I seek

'Cause I started realizing
That everyone's not this way
With these thoughts all the time
Feeling a mental pain everyday

Underneath a shallow happiness
There's always a reason to cry
Always a will to break down
That I'm trying to deny

And I held it up for many years
Now I'm so damn tired
Haven't I been strong?
Isn't this something that should be admired?

I just can't care for others right now
I know you need me
And I'm sorry
That I'm busy trying to not flee

'Cause you must understand
That everyday is hell
With some stars of light
In a black sky, where I dwell

Sorry I can't help you as I'd like to
That I'm not the one I was any longer
And sorry
I'm not stronger