This Is My Explanation

I don't ever ask nobody to come after me
I try to go away instead
Who the hell would choose to die inside every fucking day?
To barely get up from bed
I don't claim nor try to break down
I try to do the best I can
I try to stay alive
I try to not depend or ruin
I try to survive
And I know that I manage to lose friends
They want so much more
No not only know that I breathe
And then they shut their door
I lost so many
Those who meant so much!
And I learned
That I can't expect a crutch
'Cause this is way out of control
This is being sick
I fucking need some goddamn pills
And this is not a fucking trick
I promise you
That you don't want to know
All what's inside my head
I try to not show
These emotions I cannot shed
And now I finally understand
That I'm fucking depressed
I don't have the will to live
All these things of what I'm obsessed
I'm sorry,
but I don't have so much to give
I'm sorry,
I don't ask you to forgive
And I don't expect you to.